Isn’t it basic for humans to be a little selfish? We can never get over the argument that we keep giving but receive little to nothing in return. Be it any, give and take in a relationship is genuine and understandable. One doesn’t have to make it obvious.
If you are a taker, the giver will probably start self-doubting, and feeling disrespected for not receiving. There are in fact, a few types of relationships, where couples have varied opinions over give and take. A partner could selflessly give all and not expect anything back. Why? Because they think no one can give them as much as they can.
And in some, a partner could keep giving and complaining at the same time.
A healthy relationship is not about being selfless and not having expectations. Although one should have fewer expectations, a healthy relationship means partnership. There has to be equal efforts, love, and care.
If your spouse is making you feel good, acknowledge their efforts. If they are making sure you are happy, then believe in giving your all in a relationship. Return the energy in just the same way they give it to you. You know well that relationships are hard to keep. As much as humans are hard to deal with, relationships are harder. You cannot rely on just love as there’s more to a long-lasting commitment.
So, What Does Give and Take In a Marriage Mean
When you are in a commitment, there is supposed to be a partnership. One cannot rely on the other for all – love, care, responsibility, finance, or even parenting. Both individuals decided to live under one roof together, then why does only one of them has to look after most stuff?
Even when it comes to empathetic behavior, it would be one partner that would seem to offer emotional support while the other would want to be babied. In some cases, the one offering emotional support wouldn’t expect support back because they are too good at suppressing rather expressing.
So, it always goes hand to hand. You cannot be strong all the time. You deserve to be heard and supported just the same. In fact, let go of the stereotype that you cannot be weak, crying, or upset or that you are the strong one in your relationship.
It is very common for humans to complain that he takes but don’t give, or she takes but doesn’t give. Well, you cannot have a healthy bonding if there is no partnership. You need to inculcate the give and take policy, or it may ruin some part of your relationship.
Thus, if you wish to sustain and strengthen your relationship, set time boundaries. Have individual boundaries, so it doesn’t affect personal growth. If you are a taker, set your limits of taking and equalize it with giving. Believe me, it will do wonders to your bonding with the spouse.
5 Ways to Give and Take in A Relationship
Let’s first talk about how to give in a relationship. Taking is a lot easier than giving, which is why improving the balance is really essential.
Emotional Support is a need and necessity. Just as one cannot encourage a healthy lifestyle without good meals, one cannot achieve healthy well-being without good emotional support. Because your spouse spends the most time with you and is close enough to share all ups and downs, they expect support that is beyond finance and physical intimacy.
Many individuals have also acknowledged the fact that they receive such support from a stranger or a friend more than their partner, and initiate fights due to a lack of response from the other end.
If you are receiving good emotional support in every phase of your life, make sure you give it back to your spouse. Not that they give you to take it back, but you must take it to give it back.
Is Lack of Listening Affecting Your Relationship?
Listening is a part of emotional support. If you are someone that talks a lot in the relationship, you need to start giving some time to let the other one talk. You will realize they have so much to communicate about but never felt heard.
Communication from both ends at whatever situation is crucial. Even if it’s just talking about the entire day, do not cut them off with your stuff. Let them complete and be genuinely excited to hear what they have to say. Only then talk about your stuff.
That will give your partner a sense of understanding from your side and eventually bring you closer to them.
Give and take in a relationship is nothing but a partnership. It could be the smallest of things that you guys think to do together and be happy about it.
Let’s say you are expending every month a good amount of money on your spouse, house, and other responsibility. And your spouse is investing a good time in helping you save, manage and organize your days. Similarly, if you are taking her out to shop for hours, and she’s watching a sports show with excitement is an example of partnership.
Both of your needs, expectations, and liking are captured because you decided to live and communicate in each other’s love language.
Is your partner too good at giving compliments and acknowledgments? Then you probably need to show some appreciation too. This definitely means being genuine at whatever you put out in front of them.
In other words, let them know they are special and how they have participated in your life. Acknowledge all the efforts, responsibilities, and support they show towards you. After all, they are the love of your life. Don’t they deserve that much?
If they are good enough in making you happy with little things, don’t step back on your side.
Acceptance come under the give and take policy. You must be able to manage the imperfections of your partner well. 80% of the time, one of the spouses is good at showing love and care even if you are hard to keep. However, if the same you see in them, you fail to handle the situation well.
A lot of relationships experience abusive statements and extreme arguments because they fail to accept the individual imperfections. If there is love from both ends, learn to make it last forever. After all, love that hurts is love that is real.
How to Balance Give and Take in a Relationship
It is simple – what you give, you should be open to taking. Don’t make your partner get habitual of taking because you don’t expect much. Let them do things for you if they are willing to.
Plus, whatever makes you feel upset, communicate about it. Your partner is a human. We cannot always understand some things wrong until we talk about them. Especially, if the relationship is in its initial phase.
Well, I hope you will be implementing some lessons. Otherwise, just reading won’t help you strengthen the bond. Take care, have a good day, and reach out to me for any counseling session 🙂 BYE.