Men generally have narcissist personality. They look for attention, disrespect others’ feelings, and are self-concerned. If your relationship is facing issues, ‘8 signs you’re dating a narcissist‘ can help you improve your relation.
It is not necessary that narcissist personality is found in men only. Women can go through the NPD too. But mostly it is seen in men.
Due to their narcissist behavior, things don’t go in flow. We often feel hurt, disappointed and even feel like moving on. Sometimes we don’t realize the type of disorder our partner has. Once you learn about the signs, you will know whether your partner is a narcissist or not and how to deal with it?
Narcissist Personality Disorder(NPD)
A true narcissist is someone with a type of personality disorder, referred to as Narcissist Personality Disorder. It is a mental condition in which people tend to produce an inflated urge of self-importance, a deep need for admiration and validation, and a lack of empathy towards others. (1)
In narcissistic relationship while one person reacts badly to everything, the other only sees the reaction. He/she does not think of the personality disorder their partner may have. And it’s natural to not go into the depth when you are so angry at their reaction.
This article is for your betterment. It will help you know the signs and quick dealing steps. If you don’t find any sign that goes with your partner, share it with someone you think is going through it. Your kindness will help us reach more.
8 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist
Here are the signs of red flags in a relationship –
1. Love Being The Sweetest
They are charming and present their love to you in a way you cannot refuse yourself to be with them. They will constantly text you, call you and show they love you the most.
Especially during the first month of your relationship, they use charisma to get your attention, flirt enough to make you feel special, and convince you to give what they want from you. Their low self-esteem makes them seek attention. They will do anything possible to feel good about themselves. Doesn’t matter if it’s hurting you.
They love being in the top of your priority list. Narcissist wouldn’t like if you do things as you want. They will make it a deal and react badly. But if they are the one doing things as they like, they won’t let you make it a deal.
Narcissist generally takes it as cause to ping you. Won’t take your advice considering as not valuable. Plus they soothe themselves by hurting the ego of others.
They are always self-assured about a certain condition and much confident to do it even if they are wrong.
3. Low Self-esteem
The narcissist has very low self-esteem, they are going to be extremely sensitive to any form of critique. Even if what you say is 100 percent true, he may feel defenseless. The only self-protection he will have is to respond with sharp anger, withdrawal, or rage.
The defensive behavior of him will eventually stop you from sharing things, feelings or communication in general.
4. Show Lack of Empathy
Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others. It is said as a hallmark sign of a narcissist. They never try to understand other’s feelings, rather they expect others to understand their feelings and think in the same way as they do.
They usually master in blame-game. Rarely apologize and accept their mistakes. It gets even harder and more painful if you are in a relationship with someone who is unable to put themselves on your side.
In a nutshell, narcissists always think that you hurt their feelings especially negative ones. They just don’t notice what you are feeling at that time.
5. Use Manipulative Tactics (Gaslighting)
If you’re dating a narcissist, there is a good chance you have experienced gaslighting yourself. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and brainwashing that causes a victim to doubt her or himself and tends to lose his or her self-perception.
Narcissists easily resist the things by saying that, “I never said this before”, and for the normal person it’s quite painful to hear this, they simply break down.
They are experts in twisting the situation to better suit their narrative.
You may find yourself constantly apologizing and no longer feel your relationship with them as joyous and pleasurable as you once were.
6. Displays Controlling Behavior
Narcissists will control you their personal favors. At first, they try to make others feel special to gain control.
Narcissists target codependents, by which their partners easily get afraid of them to the point of statement and lose their sense of self-believing.
If you’re dating a narcissist, he may track you where are you going? Whom you are talking with? What you are wearing? How you are behaving? Etc. Everything you do, they keep their eye on you and nag you all the time.
7. Hog The Conversation
Having a long and deep conversation with your loved one is always soothing but what if someone is hogging the spotlight and talking about himself, than it is quite annoying and unbearable.
Narcissists are attention seekers and most of the time they take control of conversations to turn the focus of exchange. Conversational narcissists enjoy hearing about themselves. If you put your achievement or talk about your great fear, they will not listen to it.
If you’re dating a narcissist, your partner may be always talking about themselves and hog the conversation by proving in all ways that how great they are.
8. Never Apologize
Narcissists are good to win the conversation as they never say sorry to you. The more you want them to apologize, the more you will get hurt and end up apologizing to them badly.
They never try to repair the damage in the relationship, they never admit their mistakes. When you ask for an apology to them, they will make you feel like it is your fault. If you constantly experience this type of behavior from your soulmate, it’s a firm sign you’re dating a narcissist.
Why narcissists don’t apologize? Because they don’t see things in the same way you do. They think they will become weak if they apologize.
How To Deal With A Narcissist Boyfriend or Girlfriend?
It starts with intuitions and fear of losing oneself in the relationship. Sharing some tips to handle the situation if your partner exhibit Narcissist Personality Disorder.
1. Accept Them
The First step to deal with a narcissist is to accept who they are? And no matter how much you do for them, you can not change their state of mind. You just need to tackle them but within limits. Try to convince them by not hurting your self-respect.
The Charm of a narcissist may seem attractive. But before getting attached, make sure to notice the way they treat other people. If you catch them manipulating, lying, and disrespecting others, it’s a time to stay alert as they can behave the same with you.
If you succeed to point-out their behavior and raise the issue, you may meet with resistance.
2. Speak Up
If you get tired of ignoring their behavior and choose silence to control the situation, it’s time to speak up. As not talking with someone to save the relationship is not an appropriate response. Try to speak up in a calm and gentle manner if you want to fix the relationship.
Tell them how their words and action hurt you, be very specific and consistent to show them how you expect to be treated.
3. Need of Professional help
The narcissist usually does not feel that they are in need to take any professional help to tackle their mental health. It can be you to drag their attention towards such kind of help to assure warmness in your relationship.
You can suggest that they reach out to a therapist, but in most cases, it’s difficult to do so. Try your best to convince them. It all depends on efforts and also willingness from both sides to stay in a relationship.
Remember one thing, through this article we are not willing to break or tend to point-out your partner’s behavior. For exhibiting NPD, you must conclude the above signs first before taking any action.
You can take the help of the therapist before finalizing any kind of action to fix or to break-up with your partner.
You can also book an appointment with us for a counseling session or 3 months coaching.