It is strange how the definition of love has modified over time. Individuals think of love as toxic, cruel, and hurting. That could be because of the experiences they have been through, which is acceptable. But it doesn’t define ‘relationships’ or ‘love’ in general.
One of the reasons you could be looking for an answer on “how to deal with insecurities in a relationship” is that you don’t cherish the differences. You both focus on complaints so much that you forget the love in the first place!
Sometimes possessiveness also comes due to a lack of communication, expression, and assurity. However, narcissist behavior is exceptional. If you or your partner is possessive overall, unnecessary, and tries to hurt physically, the victim has to get out of it immediately.
If there’s nothing as such and a lot of love at the same time, the reason could be a lack of communication, expression, or acknowledgment of emotions on one side.
Well, you need not worry as I will walk you through a few causes of insecurities in a relationship and how to deal with them. If you consider following them, you can encourage a better bond.
What Causes Insecurities in A Relationship
Insecurity is as dangerous as half knowledge. It can sometimes unnecessarily kill you inside and leave you feeling you have lost your true self.
There are a few causes of the same, which I am listing below. If you think any of the causes are present in your life, you have a chance to improve. However, any case of your partner’s narcissistic and harmful behavior necessitates an immediate exit.
Insecurities are not an in-built factor. It takes birth and, the route can be anything. If your partner is too secretive about anything and everything, it can lead to recurrent doubtful thoughts. Even if they are not hiding anything, you will feel they are full of lies.
This can also lead to extreme fights since that partner doesn’t acknowledge their behavior. They may put the blame on you for doubting them a lot and leave you feeling guilty.
One of the causes of insecurities in a relationship could be low self-esteem. If you are full of self-doubts, you cannot be happy in your relationship. You will always worry about whether or not you are perfect for your partner. Sometimes you may even feel that they deserve better so, what if you lose them over somebody else?
Heartbreaks, being cheated on, guilt, and other similar experiences may have had an impact on your mental and emotional well-being in the past.
Moreover, any situation where you were hurting your partner in the past could also be the reason you are insecure in your current relationship.
Here’s How to Deal with Insecurities in a Relationship
It is easy to read a number of solutions. The difficult part is implementing those solutions. If you follow these steps or even try to improve yourself a bit, you can overcome the insecurities in your relationship.
1. Work on Self-Esteem
Relationships last longer when there is no crack in the trust wall. The faith in it defines the bond you have with your partner. However, couples often struggle with self-love and insecurities that create trust issues.
Whether you land in an awkward situation and find yourself less attractive or less deserving, you won’t trust them if your partner tries to make you feel good. You will always have insecurity of not being good or enough in the relationship. Many people even look for continuous assurance, so they can sleep in peace. So if you work on your self-esteem and improve confidence, you can overcome your insecurities.
Couples need to have transparency between them for a healthier bond. They don’t understand the benefit of letting out what goes in their heads day and night.
It is crucial to let your partner know what is going on in the back of your head. How do you feel about the fight, or the situation, or the last conversation you had. Let them know what and why makes you feel low. In fact, choose a healthy communication style while expressing. Do not just go and yell at them that you don’t like them going out so often.
Try to adapt to a good communication style so that your partner can allow you a space where you can talk about all that goes in your head, and they allow themselves to understand.
3. Talk About Your Love Language
In other words, talk about your needs. Let your partner know your love language, and how do you like to be loved? It is essential to talk about such parts in your relationship since they bring couples closer and encourage a deeper bond.
In fact, allow them to talk about theirs. Try to know your partner’s needs and fulfill them. That will help you both grow together as one.
4. Avoid Being Over Secretive
If there’s nothing to hide, then why be secretive? This could be for those who find their partners insecure and possessive in the relationship. If your habits of being secretive or lying are affecting their emotional well-being, you must improve the habits.
If you are afraid of hurting them by sharing anything, you are mistaken. You’d rather lose them if they found out something you were keeping inside. It is preferable to inform your partner of everything you enjoy doing, as well as anything they may dislike.
Listening is another answer to deal with insecurities in a relationship.
It is essential to be a listener in a relationship. If your partner is being insecure, communicate with them. Allow them to put forth their perspective and emotions.
Otherwise, if you keep explaining yourself, they will feel unheard and self-doubt their presence. In fact, an insecure partner drains relationship. So If you don’t allow them to express their possessiveness, their insecurity will destroy the relationship.
Types of Insecurities in A Relationship
- Fear of abandonment
- Feeling you are not enough
- Personality and look insecurities
- Feeling they deserve better
- Insecure about the personality change of your partner with varied people
- Doubting love and care due to past experiences
Therapy for Insecurity in Relationships
We all are humans and, we do act similarly in relationships. There’s nothing like you being exceptional when it comes to having insecurities. No, that is not true.
Just like you, I am insecure in my relationship as well. We only need to deal smartly. It shouldn’t affect the bond we hold with our spouse. Plus, we must prioritize communication over anything.
Also, if you think the insecurities are getting too much, you can opt for a therapy session. It is the myth that counselors are only for people with issues. You can approach a counselor for guidance, direction and talk your heart out.
You can reach out to me for a session if needed.
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Signs of A Secure Relationship
- You all don’t drag the issues to death.
- There is healthy and timely communication.
- There is a balance between physical and emotional intimacy.
- None of you hold grudges for each other.
- You let go of certain incidents and look forward to strengthening the relationship since there is love.
- You acknowledge and consider all your emotions and do not ignore them.
- You don’t suppress. Instead, you focus on transparency.
Insecurities are common. Every relationship faces it. The difference in most couples is that some can manage them well, while some worsen their health. If you ever find yourself unable to deal with possessiveness, you can always choose to communicate. Otherwise, reach out to a therapist.
Well, which point about how to deal with insecurities in a relationship sounded helpful? Let me know in the comment section below.