How to be Vulnerable in a Relationship?

People often think of being “strong” in relationships which can be debilitating. It can impact your self-esteem and make you feel like you are not worthy of love. It’s essential to be vulnerable in a relationship; though it can be a challenge, it is worth it. 

Relationships thrive on the consideration of vulnerability.

Being vulnerable means being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, regardless of the outcome. It means being willing to let someone in your personal space and simultaneously allowing yourself to be expressive. 

What is the ‘Vulnerable’ Definition in a Relationship?

A vulnerable relationship is a state where you are exposed in every dimension, and there is a possibility of an attack in the form of physical, mental, and emotional parameters.

It is when you reveal your authentic self to your partner irrespective of the fear of being judged or rejected. 

On the one hand, you show them your real identity, needs, fears, weakness, and every possible (positive or negative) trait of your personality. 

Here, you aren’t sure how your partner would react, so there is a constant fear of rejection. 

On the other hand, you are confident that your partner will be empathetic with your vulnerability and accept you the way you are. A perfect partner would support you, understand you, and show compassion.

How can You Show Vulnerability in a Relationship?

In this modern era, with growing awareness about the importance of mental health, vulnerability has lost its stigma. It is more and more often seen as a desirable trait in a relationship. 

So, if you feel helpless being emotionally vulnerable, try these steps: 

Know Yourself

To become more vulnerable in a relationship, you need to know yourself. Your past experiences mold your personality and your responses to today’s stimulus. These experiences might affect your current relationships; therefore, discussing your past issues with your partner is wise. 

But for that, you first need to know yourself, your feelings, and your thoughts. Know your emotional triggers and what causes you to explode or break down.

Don’t judge yourself nor demean your feelings. It’s ok to feel whatever without being guilty about it. 

Once you are sure of yourself, your emotions, and your thought process, you’ll feel comfortable being emotionally exposed in front of your partner. 

Create Space for Each Other

Emotionally exposing yourself to your partner can be exhausting. So you don’t have to pace up the process of being vulnerable. Start slow, and encourage your partner to share their experiences too, so that you are comfortable sharing yours. 

It’s a two-way process, and you need to put in equal effort. Negligence from one side may make the other partner feel insecure, uncomfortable, or ditched. 

Therefore it’s recommended to start slowly once you both are comfortable and ready to share your experiences. Then take a step ahead and start talking about small chunks of your secrets.

Talk your Needs

It is the most critical aspect of being vulnerable in a relationship. Put forward your needs and see how your partner reacts to them.

It is going to decide the direction of your relationship. 

Communicating your needs in the relationship might be challenging, especially if you fear losing people. But when you do, you’ll either be disappointed or feel understood, heard, nurtured and deeply connected with your partner.

Stop the Blame Game and Take Responsibility. 

We all have come across someone in life who is a pro in a blame game.

These people don’t want to be responsible for their wrongdoings; instead blame others for the same. You don’t have to be that person.

Take responsibility if you were wrong at a specific instance instead of playing a victim card. It will help you be vulnerable in a relationship and soothe your otherwise burdened mind.

Remember, your bond with your partner strengthens when the more honest you are.

Be a Good Listener

If someone is expressing their feelings, ensure to put down the gadgets and be a good listener. Honestly, it’s a big distraction in today’s digital era. Fidgeting with the phone while someone is talking to you is a big turn-off. 

So focus on what your partner shares with you, keep eye contact, and make them feel heard. Being vulnerable is hard, so if your partner is weak in a relationship, be present at the moment and be a good listener. 

And instead of just waiting to speak up, try to understand what they have to say.

Express your Insecurities 

Every relationship needs vulnerability; without it, you are never going to get to the heart of each other.

Being vulnerable can be challenging; it’s not easy to admit we are scared and must rely on our partners. But the truth is when you can share your fears with your partner, you feel more intimate.

Your fears and insecurities may be irrational but might impact your behavior or how you respond to a particular situation. 

Sharing your insecurities and fears brings you closer to them. Plus, if your partner understands and accepts your fears and is compassionate and empathetic with you, it helps you feel understood.

Just Puke

Don’t wait for the right moment to share your feelings. Please share how you feel about it at the very moment of an event.

For example, if you don’t like your partner’s actions, tell them there and then instead of carrying emotional baggage. 

Whenever you are hurt, you might not want to discuss what upset you, but having a clear conversation promptly solves the issues.

For instance, you may say: “I don’t like the way you behave, or I feel hurt when you talk to me in a loud voice.”

It will give more clarity to your partner about your feelings, and you will feel heard.

Get Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone.

Although it may sound complicated, it’s incredibly essential to counter your fears to be more vulnerable. I know it’s hard, but you have to do it to get yourself out of your comfort zone. 

Yes, facing these emotional moments is challenging, but you must vomit them out rather than flee them. And when you become emotionally vulnerable, you feel confident, and things seem less scary. 

Nothing can beat the joy and satisfaction of being in an honest, transparent, and intimate relationship.

Wrap up

Whether wish to be vulnerable or not, is totally a choice. Often men and women find it difficult to be open about their emotions and they even choose to avoid it as much as they can, but adapting to this one thing can truly improve your relationship to an extent!