I Tried 7 Ways to Stop Overthinking After Breakup
If you have ever gone through a breakup, you know your brain suddenly becomes a 24/7 replay machine!
Every text, every smile, every argument looping in your head like a bad song you can’t skip. I was stuck in that cycle for weeks. I would be at work, in the shower, or trying to sleep, and boom my mind would drag me back into “what if” land.
Overthinking was exhausting, and honestly, it made moving on feel impossible. So, I decided to test different ways to stop the mental spiral, to stop overthinking after breakup.
I tried 7, and these were the ones that actually helped me quiet my brain and start healing.
Why Overthinking Feels Impossible to Stop After a Breakup
When you go through a breakup, your brain treats it like a loss, literally. Studies show the same parts of the brain light up as when you go through physical pain. That’s why your chest feels tight or your stomach sinks when you think of them.
Overthinking is your brain’s way of trying to “solve” the pain, replaying conversations, imagining alternate endings, and even stalking their social media to gather more “data.” But the truth is, it doesn’t bring closure. It just keeps the wound open.
1. The “5-4-3-2-1” Grounding Trick
Whenever my thoughts started spinning, I used my senses to snap back to the present:
- 5 things I could see
- 4 things I could touch
- 3 things I could hear
- 2 things I could smell
- 1 thing I could taste
I remember sitting on my couch one night, panicking about whether they’d already moved on. I looked around the room and realized my candle smelled like vanilla and the blanket was warm on my feet. It didn’t erase the pain, but it slowed my mind just enough to breathe.
2. Journaling Without Editing Myself
I gave myself 10 minutes every night to brain-dump everything – no grammar checks, no making it sound pretty. The goal wasn’t to write a blog post; it was to get the chaos out of my head so I could sleep.
Some nights, it was angry. Some nights it was sad. But it always felt lighter afterward.
3. Blocking (Not Just Muting) on Social Media
Muting was a half-measure. I would still look when I felt weak. Blocking gave me the hard barrier I needed. Out of sight did help with “out of mind.”
The first week felt strange, but by the third, I couldn’t even remember their username without thinking hard.
Found this Healthline content on What do after a breakup & it makes sense!
4. Filling the “Thinking Time” With Learning
Overthinking always hit hardest when I was idle – commuting, cooking, walking. I started listening to podcasts and audiobooks during those moments. Not self-help all the time, either, sometimes just interesting stories to give my brain something new to chew on.
My favorite was a podcast about people who completely changed careers; it reminded me that life has unexpected turns.
5. The “What If… Then What?” Game
My brain loved “what if” scenarios: What if I never met someone else? What if they come back?
I forced myself to answer each one with “Then what?” and follow it through.
Example: What if I never meet someone else? → Then I’ll still have friends, hobbies, and my own goals. It wasn’t magical thinking; it was reminding myself I would survive no matter the outcome.
6. Scheduling My Sadness
This sounds odd, but I gave myself a 20-minute “sad slot” each day to cry, re-read old texts, or just miss them. Outside that window? I’d tell myself, “Not now, later.”
It permitted me to feel without drowning in it all day. Over time, the slot shrank naturally.
7. Moving My Body Daily
Not for fitness for my brain. A short walk, dancing to two songs, stretching before bed. Movement burned off some of the restless energy that usually fed my overthinking.
The mornings I skipped it? My thoughts felt louder. The days I moved? Quieter.
Final Thoughts
I wish I could say I stopped overthinking overnight, but it was more like turning down the volume a little each day.
If you are in the middle of it right now, pick just one of these to start with. You don’t have to do all 7 at once.
And if you have found your trick that worked, share it in the comments, as someone else reading might need it.
Check my last blog on feeling distant in your Relationship and how long to talk before dating 🙂
