5 Failures I have Seen in Almost Marriages
I am not clearly too aged. You can also exit this page if you think a 24-year-old has no right to talk about marriage failures. However, if you believe in wisdom, experiences, and maturity – this content can help you sustain your marriage really well.
I have been counseling couples and individuals over the last 3 years. And the past 15 years, I have seen marriages around me, in my family, friends, and of people, I know who have taught me incredible lessons.
Marriages are either about love or family love – there’s nothing in between. There are multiple reasons why marriages fail, but let me tell you the 5 things that make the most difference in relationships.
If you take care of these mistakes, you can have a healthy marriage. Even if you are getting married any time soon or recently got into it, this can help.
5 Reasons Why Marriages Fail
Have you ever thought about what happens after you exchange marriage vows?
You may probably have the same answer Honeymoon, responsibilities, pressure, family burden, and taking care of each other. But, honestly, these words sound good to the ears.
The difficulty is when you have to implement them in your marriage. Especially, if the marriage comes through a sacrifice phase, family burden, and no-love thing, then thinking about these areas itself is a huge task.
1. Avoiding a Conversation to Avoid a Fight
Sometimes it’s a sign your partner is asking you to not talk about some things and it’s good too that it helps you both not get into a bad mood. However, avoiding conversations every time for the same reason about the same thing is unhealthy.
The partner who wants to let it out starts to feel suffocated and unheard. It gets too heavy inside them that it comes out rude – which eventually leads to bigger fights, hurt, pain, and silent treatments.
I have seen marriages where there’s always one person holding onto so much that is just not coming out because of the other one who doesn’t hear them out enough or make them feel enough validated for their emotions.
2. Apologies are Fairly Invisible
Not just marriages, let’s consider any kind of relationship, respect is a top-tier thing. If it’s not there, not even a percent of it, you lose it all.
No matter what you do, or how you do it, if it’s disrespecting your partner, you must have at least some sort of kindness to apologize for your doings. Whether the realization comes sooner or later, always do your part.
But what actually happens is, we don’t apologize at all. Sometimes the one who shouldn’t be sorry feels more sorry than the one who should be. Why? because you matter to them!
So please, make sure to apologize if you disrespected your partner even for a second. It will help you both maintain a healthy bond.
3. Lack of Financial Boundaries
When one of the Spouses is earning a living and taking care of all the possible responsibilities, at one point in time they start feeling the burden and get harsh on the family.
Financial boundaries are meant to be set clearly before you get married. Even if you miss out on discussing this with your partner, make sure you do it before it gets tough to live around.
As this is a major reason why marriages fail, it needs the utmost attention.
It is not really necessary that both of you work for a living. Even if one is taking responsibility, the other must discuss the boundaries you all should set and maintain a healthy monthly budgeting process.
Because what happens later is everything turns out to be about money and the bond starts to fade. Especially, if your partner is into giving out loans to family and friends and not being able to recover, then it is your personal relationship that suffers.
4. Lack of Balance between the Family and Spouse
One has to fit this into their mind very clearly that family has its own place and Spouse has their own place. One shouldn’t mix these two together while giving out love.
Your spouse is someone you see a whole life together. They do expect their involvement in your life. Whether your dreams, work, or decisions, they want to be a happy part of it and be able to help you through everything.
But we fail to keep that line and make family involvement a priority.
Also, if we look at both the Husband’s and Wife’s end, they will face situations where there is zero balancing.
Just as an example when you complain about your life after marriage to your family, your family reacts toward your husband and inlaws through your perspective as they don’t care to understand the perception both of your carry.
Similarly, when you start to live with your wife and family together, there’s always an imbalance between mother and wife.
You have to understand this area that a woman shifts their past lifestyle to a completely new home, where they only look up to you for, love, help, care, and understanding. If you don’t support them or listen to their rants, or calmly communicate with both about anything wrong they may be doing, you will lose the connection.
Unless they feel comfortable around the family, they will always complain.
5. A Marriage that Stands on Pressure and Burden
Another reason why marriages fail is that some people marry out of pressure or love for the family. To not let down their parents, they let go of their interests and wants.
Later, when things don’t go well, they start to blame their parents for putting them into a marriage they weren’t interested.
Even during fights they are too harsh and arrogant because of their unhappy and unsatisfied desires.
So it is important for you to take a control of your life. Your family is not going to stay with your Spouse, it is you – who has to live under the same room with them. Your choice, your love, your care and your attraction for your partner equally matters.
It’s difficult to live through the whole marriage phase, but it can get better if you take care of the reasons why marriages fail.
Thank you for reading this. Hope it helped!
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