A controlling behavior enables a person to dominate, target, control, and trouble others to do or act as per his needs.
If ever in your life you have encountered a controlling behavior in yourself, you have come to the right place as in this article, I have talked about 6 situations where you may become a controlling freak and ways to work on it.
But before that let me aware you with certain facts that makes you a controlling freak –
- Insecurity – Insecure of losing something (a position, a loved one, an identity or may be something you are too afraid to lose) you place control over it and face a controlling behavior.
- Low self-esteem – Thinking that you are not worthy enough to have something that you already have, which again connects with the fear of losing something.
- Fear of loneliness – Most people put control over others to not feel left out. So, they continuously stay around them, seek their attention, ask them to do as they like and act they want.
- Afraid of being inferior to others – This again connects with low self-esteem. People who think in themselves that they may become less to others if they don’t consistently show their affection or intelligence or care or protection, just as others do. Basically, they question their worth in every situation and experience a controlling behavior issue to satisfy their own-self.
Now, let’s see what are the techniques to work on a controlling behavior –
Techniques to Work on Controlling Behavior
Controlling behavior comes with different situations, different phases and different stages of life. Below I have provided the solutions in accordance to 6 different situations that you may be facing or may face in the future.
Let’s see what they are –
1. If working in a team -
- Since you already know you have a controlling issues, do not put your points with an expectation from other members to implement them.
- But put your points to let them know what are your opinions about the work or project you all are working on
- Learn to not try to tell other members to act, behave, or work in a certain manner
- If you try to dominate other members, they may start to dislike you or appeal the leader to remove you out of the team for they don’t find your actions right
- If you only try to focus on your part of the work, help others in their contribution, and calmly share your opinions, the team will have a better version of you rather a worst.
2. If on a position of a boss -
- Control is necessary when it comes to getting the work done on time, but if it becomes too much it may also affect the future of the company, institution, organization, or the firm you have hold of.
- So, make sure to control things and people for purposes that will bring an improvement, rather disappointment.
- Consider all perspectives before taking a decision to create a fun-loving and healthy relationship with the management or the employees
- And the most important, put a control over yourself as well to not cross your limit in disappointing any of the member, staff, or management of the firm you hold.
3. If in a relationship -
- Most people in their relationship find themselves unworthy of having the kind of partner they have, so they put control over them in regard to certain things.
- If you do the same in your relationship, try to control this emotion because if you weren’t worthy the other person might not have chosen you, and if you think they might betray you with some other person, then they should have done it already.
- Better try to improve yourself in areas where you think you aren’t suitable for your partner.
- If you keep on controlling them over such things, then they might lose interest in you and you may face situations where they do not want to stay in a relationship anymore.
- So, rather thinking about the ways to hold them, give them freedom to be who they are, so they can count on you and give you the same love back as you expect them to.
4. If about the best friend -
- Controlling behavior is too common between best friends. Especially from one of them.
- If you ask them to not go out with others friends or meet them without having you along or getting close to them and sharing a bond that sounds too cheesy, then you may end up becoming just friends than best friends.
- Because when you make your friendship a policy, a strategy or terms and conditions to follow, then the value of closeness decreases.
- To make it last for the life time, set it free
- Remmeber that if your best friend calls you a best friend than you are capable of becoming their best friend for if you weren’t they wouldn’t be sharing such a bond with you
- So, instead of stopping them from going out or making new friends, allow them to do whatever they like, whoever they want to meet or be friends with, so they can become more free to say out things rather lying in your face.
5. If you are a parent -
- Remember, children will do more what you wouldn’t want them to do
- So, if you control them for even their good, they wouldn’t listen to you for you apply the old technique
- Children are of different perspectives today. Their mental health is affected too soon on even saying a one harsh word. And if you try to control them over things, for going out, for making the type of friends you don’t like, or choosing the career you think wouldn’t serve them right, then they might think you don’t understand them.
- And once they will start to think that you don’t understand them, you will lose your child for then they will find a companion, a better option, a romantic relationship, a mentor who will seem to understand them better.
- So, you got to assure them that you are the best friend before a parent, listen to them, comfort them, and try to be adjustable with what they want to or do not want to do in life.
- Then trust me your child would never ever disappoint you.
6. If you are a teacher -
- Some teachers are generally too arrogant, partial, and egoistic who takes thing on their mind if got attacked by students during class or in the corridor
- They would threat them for not doing things that they may come in the nature of the child, and students go through the phase where they sound stupid and do things out of immaturity which a teacher is expected to understand.
- If you being a teacher don’t understand this and tell them that you will cut their marks, you won’t consider them as a part, you will do this or that which may create a fear among all of them and you may lose an importance of being a teacher
- Because a student remembers the only teacher who acts, behaves, and nurtures them as a friend, a parent and a mentor. If you don’t meet their expectation, you may become the bad guy who they wouldn’t want to listen to.
- So, better work on to becoming a friend, rather a partial or a strict teacher who just know to control than give valuable education.
These were the most important to-work-on situations in regard to controlling behavior, which people generally don’t realize. And if you are somebody who have controlling behavior issue or know somebody who has it, do not forget to share with them for wisdom is meant to be shared than just going through it.
Hope I was of some help to you. Let me know if I can help you in any manner using the below action button. Have a good day 🙂