Marriage, indeed, is a beautiful bond that two individuals share. It’s sad to see the pace at which couples are separating these days.
It is not easy to understand how to save a marriage when only one is trying. It indeed is a challenging task for the partners to beat the bush when the other person doesn’t care enough!
In fact, couples already have numerous reasons to call off their marriages. Definitely, some are very logical and practical while some are really insensible.
A relationship cannot work on unresolved issues. Whether it’s the tiniest or the biggest, it needs both partner’s input and willingness to resolve. And not just one person putting all efforts to make it work.
There are many factors that contribute to whether or not a marriage can survive an inevitable separation. This article will solve your dilemma of how to save a marriage when only one is trying.
It also focuses on how each spouse can improve their individual areas in the relationship so that they can improve the bond and make it work.
Here’s How to Save a Marriage When Only One is Trying
Plan a Conversation with Your Spouse
Communication may seem hard, but it is necessary. If you really want to work on how to save a one-sided marriage, finding ways to communicate is the key.
Here are some things that can help:
- Take your spouse on a walk. Maybe after dinner when both of you are free from individual responsibilities and initiate a conversation.
- If in a long distance, schedule a time when both of you have the free space to talk enough. During the call initiate the things going at the back of your head and let them know what you have been feeling lately.
- In case, physical communication is not possible or you fear having a conversation, write them a letter. Be vulnerable enough while penning it down and assure you pour your every emotion.
- If your talking tone affects your communication with your partner, then try molding your communication style. Like every time you are angry and you want to show it, choose a style that is not louder but also obvious that you are hurt and you talk about it calmly.
The more you keep it to yourself and think they should get it on their own – the more you are ruining your own relationship.
So, it is essential to have consistent communication and be aware of each other’s communication patterns
Improve Communication with Your Spouse
Communication is the key to any successful relationship and is especially important in a marriage.
Effective communication means discussing your feelings rather than just assuming your spouse’s thoughts.
It also means not making assumptions about what someone else wants or needs and instead asking them directly. And finally, it means listening carefully so that you can solve problems together instead of just blaming each other or getting angry over nothing.
The most common mistake people make when talking with their partners is interrupting them when speaking (or vice versa).
This can cause frustration and irritation, which will only lead to more arguments down the road!
If one person starts talking while another hasn’t finished yet, it only ruins the connection. It is better to wait till they finish as it allows both parties to express themselves without interruption from either side.
You may sometimes wonder how do I fix myself, to save my marriage. The shortest answer is, to be self-aware.
Now there is a difference between being self-aware and being aware.
To be self-aware, you must be able to see every detail of yourself. Who you are truly inside and out.
Being aware means being able to see the world for what it is, including your spouse.
Like noticing things about your partner that might not seem so obvious at first glance. For example, their faults and shortcomings and their strengths and talents.
It also means knowing when to trust them with certain tasks or projects so that you can focus on yourself.
Being self-aware in a relationship doesn’t just mean accepting each other’s flaws, but also celebrating those things which make each other special.
It means recognizing that while our spouse may have learned from past mistakes, there will always be room for improvement because no two people are ever exactly alike.
Self-awareness may help you in the following ways:
- Taking time to reflect on how you may have contributed to the demise of your marriage may help give insight on things to change.
- Reflecting on your behavior and being objective about the past can help you see things.
- Self-awareness is also an important part of being a good partner, so taking time to reflect on what went wrong in your marriage may help give insight into why things are going wrong now.
Sometimes we make mistakes that cause harm or pain for others, but we don’t see it until later on.
We must learn from these mistakes, so they don’t happen again! This process of learning from our mistakes is called growth; along with self-awareness comes growth!
Take Responsibility for Your Happiness
You may be tempted to focus on your spouse’s shortcomings, but you must take responsibility for your happiness.
It’s not enough to say, “I’m unhappy.” Instead, focus on what you can change or what you need to feel better.
Are there ways that you can improve yourself? How can you make your marriage more fulfilling and enjoyable for both of you?
Focus on What You Can Change, Not on What You Can’t.
It’s easy to focus on what you can’t do, but this is a recipe for failure. Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, focus on what you can control.
Understand – What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? How can these things be used to improve the marriage?
If you and your spouse are trying to save a marriage, both partners must work on the relationship.
The key to saving a marriage is communication and compromise. Both of you need to be willing to improve and must be willing to compromise over certain things to sustain the bond.
Otherwise, one-sided relationships have given nothing to couples, but pain.
Although it is challenging to save a one-sided marriage, it is not impossible. Sustaining Marriages requires a lot of work, and one person can rarely do it alone.
It is essential, to be honest with yourself and your spouse about what has gone wrong in the relationship. Plus, both the partners should equally try to resolve the issues without indulging in any blame game.
When you both become one to make your bond last – that’s when the real job starts. Then you won’t need to know how to save a marriage when only one is trying as both of you will be equally working.
Well, if you did this all and still couldn’t see any difference and when it is too late to save a marriage, you can try couple counseling.
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That would give you insights on what else can you do further. Whether there are chances of improving this relationship or should you just move on?