How To Be A Better Wife In 12 Steps?
Hey! Awesome wives. Being a wife, aah off-course an overwhelmed feeling. As a wife, you are going to enter a wonderful phase of life. That feeling is so strong it sometimes makes us think how to be a better wife and what initiatives I can take to strengthen my marriage.
But no worries, the answer is just apart from some scrolls down. The good news is that my dear ladies, it’s not as hard as you may think. Responsibilities are for sure to take care of, but making the journey easier and happier is all in our hands.
Here are some super practical ways to strengthen your married life. Not a boring relationship advice but some quickies and simple things to help you to sparkle your worth.
How To Be A Better Wife In 12 Steps?
1. First, Love Yourself
Yes! You read it right.
This has to be the first thing if you want to become a better wife. Love yourself!! Take out some time for yourself. Even your husband also wants to see you like that.
If you are happy and confident than you can definitely make your husband happy too. It’s all a game of vibes. So start loving yourself and you will soon discover how magically it works.
Its human tendency indeed the way you treat yourself, you will automatically treat others in the same way. Accept what you are and don’t compare yourself from others.
Your husband marries you. He loves you the way you are. And he wants the same for a lifetime from you. What matters is your positive attitude. That’s all. So, why compare with others? Just improve your glaze and dazzle your married life.
2. Understanding Point of View
A very basic thing is understanding each other’s point of view.
This element always bucks up the situation and it exploits the relationship, if not handled properly. What to do in such a situation? How to handle the whole scenario? Well, let me help you with this.
If you think like oh! Why should I always, he should sometime read my mind? It’s sometimes not feasible. What you have to do is just bite your tongue a while and keenly listen to him.
Try to find out the points for which he thinks that you are wrong. Hold it on there and try to explain it in a very beautiful manner.
Also, the same you can explain to him too, try to convince him to listen to you calmly, and you both will surely resolve the matter effectively. Eventually, you will come out from trauma and arrogance.
3. Forgive Quickly
Forgiveness will help you to maintain a healthy relationship. Here you have to make your heart big. I know it’s not easy sometimes, but you will surely opt for it when you find positive results.
Sometimes it may be the actual thing your husband wants to explain to you for his mistake, but what you do is ignore him. By showing a gesture for his mistake. But sometimes it proves wrong. Always give him chance to speak.
Forgive him and allow him to state the reason. He will feel more comfortable to talk with you. And he will surely regret his mistake. Then the love bond between you all will become stronger.
4. Let Him Breathe – Give Him Time To ‘Unwind’
Are you giggling right now after reading this? Well, it’s a matter of fact! a key answer to a question of how to be a better wife?
When your husband comes home from his workplace. You can’t imagine what pressure he maybe bared on the whole day in his office. So let him occupy a little space.
Let him calm down, feed him well, and make sure he is feeling much better. Now you can start. Here it doesn’t mean to start complaining but to share happy moments of your day. Even you can ask him about his day.
A better way to start a healthy conversation and then you also come to know about his mindset and can share or discuss some important matter with him. And I am sure he will listen to it and answer you happily.
As a wife you are always curious to share your good and bad news of a day to your husband, but if you find a correct time to speak then half of the battle you already win.
5. Be His Cheerleader
You know what as a wife it’s not all about maintaining husband and wife relation. You always act as a family therapist for your blended family.
Motivate him for good cause. If he willingly shares his break out, react positively to that. Don’t nag him. He must be in a very difficult situation may be due to his business and job issues. If he shares with you that means he truly needs your support.
Cheer him up! Suggest some practical ways. Your word of affirmation will act like a mint to his thoughts. Soothe him with all your efforts. And make him believe that you are always there for him. Surely he will come out of this situation soon.
Also, if he is starting something new and was not much sure about him. Admire his efforts. Suggest him better ways. Maybe he will be not sure in the beginning but it’s your support which makes him believe in himself.
6. Spice Up Your Love Life
What binds married couples? do you know?? it’s a love feeling which they truly share with each other. Your husband isn’t looking for a world best beauty in you, but your efforts to make him happy.
You know what? one question always stops you to live your happy moments; Why should I initiate sex?
But what’s wrong in that? If you want to express it first to your husband then just do it. Never stop yourself from loving him.
Friendly advice to you – Five love languages i.e. word of affirmation, the act of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch, make them a vital part of your married life. And enjoy an overwhelming response from your husband.
You can also surprise him by practicing some sexual position with him, which he’s willing to do with you. Live your moments and spice up your love life. Even you can bring out some change in your wardrobe to bling your charm.
7. Talk It Out, Always
Always share what you want from him. Never assume that he will prompt from your gestures, he will sometime but not always. It all depends on his mood.
So keep your point very clear to him. When a situation comes where you have to fight over flight, choose to fight but in a very controlled manner, in a low tone and respectfully so that he doesn’t get hurt. Then you can easily put your point when he is calm.
Now you must be thinking that why should I suggest you fight over flight because it is very hard to control emotions when you choose to be silent. It will never help you to come out of the situation. And many misunderstanding takes place between you and your husband.
Silence is not an option between husband and wife in any matter. They must talk. Plan an atmosphere, where you and he can spend time and resolve the matter by talking. Not talking with each other is never been a solution of any problem.
8. Encourage Him For Healthy Lifestyle
Being his worthy companion, make your priority to take care of his health. If he is not able to maintain, support him in all possible ways.
Like you can add his favorite salad in the meal, when he wakes up you can complement him with lemon and honey infused water, some little things.
You can also motivate him for a morning walk. Or else suggest him to join the gym. Remind him that being healthy is very important, and he should not ignore it due to his workload.
By encouraging this way you can strengthen your marriage by expressing gratitude and a new language of love. He will enjoy your care and it will improve your marriage intimacy.
9. Complement Him
Giving a compliment to anyone is always a bloom to that person. And when we are talking about how to be a better wife? It’s a worth attribute of a godly wife. You can look and feel his mood and even the attire he possesses. Take a minute to appreciate that.
If you are all set and want his attention, even he wants the same from you. but the difference is you can ask him frequently about his opinion and he will not do so. Now here you have a chance to flirt with him. And why don’t you grab it?
Compliment him, it will boost up his confidence and add more charm to your relationship. He will know that you love him the way he loves you. And your purpose is resolved here. A happily married couple!
Here I am not only talking about his appearance, but you can compliment him for his care towards you. For his hearty efforts to make you happy and so on.
Always take a good note of his deed and never leave a chance to state him that. Expressing is always helpful, and he will be happy to know that you believe him.
10. Let Him Hangout With His Friends
After marriage, due to some responsibilities if your husband is not able to take out time to meet his friend then you must encourage him to do so. Let him discuss with his friends about his chores.
Try to arrange a get-together or maybe an outing for him with his friends. and help him to live those cheerful moments again. It will help both of you to balance your married life. And he will be happier to know about your concern for him.
Man to man friendship is always on a level where sometimes he can share his views maybe can’t with his woman. It’s a carefree, less responsibility period. Of course a dose of great boost. And when they get that positive boost up from their friends, they tend to keep their wife happier.
So such a great deal it is!
11. Trust His Parenting Ways
Never doubt his parenting ways. a bond between father and children is quite different from mother children’s bond. So always keep this thing in mind.
If you find his ways inappropriate or maybe about some issues regarding your children. Never expose it in front of your children. Talk with him separately and let him handle it in his way.
Even don’t try to interrupt when they are enjoying their moments. If he needs any help from you, happy to help him. whatever be the issues sometimes, let him talk to children accordingly.
He will be sometimes strict and will sometimes become a child with children. It’s all about his ways and try to appreciate it. Even children sometimes fill the gap between you two. They will connect you both.
12. Do Something Small For Him Daily
By doing some small things you can win his heart. It will increase his love for you. What you have to do is plan a date night, surprising him by cooking his favorite dish, give him a relaxing massage, and fulfill his bedroom fantasies.
Do it in a promising way.
In a note of appreciation, you can make him happy in your ways daily. Don’t think to do something very complicated or materialistic. You can do very simple things which your husband likes and he will appreciate your efforts.
By every new thing you do for him, you will get closer to him. And this all that you want. You can also search online for some awesome date ideas and implement it further according to your husband’s taste.
How To Balance Being A Wife And Mother?
Being a wife now you are much prepared to tackle your husband by referring wife duties list above.
Now being a couple and for many being parents another question arises in our minds is how to balance being a wife and mother?
How to become a cool mom and a loving wife at the same time?
By growing family, our relationship as a husband and wife truly changes. Motherhood is a quite tough job. Activity is of stress and tiresome at times. To fulfill both roles as a wife and as a mother, here you always backseat the role of wife.
By prioritizing kids over husband you somehow loose a little charm as couple.
Differentiating is quite impossible who is important mother or wife? In their respective roles. Both have same priorities. Here it’s time to learn how to balance being a wife and mother?
Sharing here some cool ways to help you to walk on this tightrope with the responsibility of wife and mother. You will surely enjoy reading them and will love to sparkle your relationship sheet by sprinkling the glitter of happiness and positivity.
1. “Mommy-me” Time
The same rule applies here also, take out time in the process when you are balancing yourself as a wife and mother.
Never hesitate to take out some personal space from your hectic schedule. As it is very obvious that after pleasing everyone in a house, you ultimately neglect your personal needs.
Find time to look and feel good, work out, pamper yourself.
In short, take a small break from your responsibility and just for a while prioritize yourself. Be grateful to yourself and fulfill your personal goals.
2. Set Expectation Criteria
Make sure that you are performing a very open and clear communication with your husband.
This will help you in sorting parenting and your married life to some extent. Always express how you feel as sometimes maybe he has no idea how you are struggling with the responsibility of a wife and mother.
By setting expectation criteria you both will know how to share your parenting duties and it will make your relationship bond stronger. You can set some responsibility for kids also if they are old enough to understand.
It will surely soothe you as you got your helping hands as in your kids and your husband itself. It will boost up your morale and most the time you feel happy instead of feeling irritated and stressed.
3. Get Heat Up
Keep your romance alive as a couple. Create opportunities for the moments you were used to experienced before becoming parents. Always express your love to each other.
Even your children will happy to see you as a loving couple.
Make effort to continue the charm of your love life with your husband. Message him love texts, please him with words of affirmation, cook his favorite meal, plan date nights, hold his hands, give him hugs, and maintain physical intimacy.
You know what just take out time to walk as a couple around your community park or just a mile. It’s a beautiful time when you two can exchange so many emotions and can talk for your planning, it creates great emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Here all things you do for him will make him feel that still,he is your number one priority.
Even research says that never put sex on the back burner when you are stuck in your parenting responsibility. The husband will be more willing to help you in your household chores if he is getting a daily dose of love from you.
4. Get Him Involved In Everything
Asking for help, is never a bad idea.
So, don’t feel awkward to admit that you want someone who helps to keep the things in a resolved way. When this help comes from your husband then no other alternative you need to find.
Try to involve your husband in taking care of your kids. You can do this by dividing some parenting tasks with him. So if he knew before the things, it will not become an issue for both of you.
You both will happily perform your work.
Also, sometimes you both have to go to some work you can keep your kids with your mom, your neighbors, or maybe with your close friend. A simple break from motherhood.
5. Meet Frustration With Love
Be grateful that you have a loving family. Kids are a blessing. So whenever you are very much frustrated with any act of your children or your husband, try to face it with all kind words.
Keep yourself calm and positive in all matters. Avoid bitter complaining attitude, and you better know this that just by shouting loud no one is going to listen. Instead of shouting in anger make funny faces or a clingy statement to take over the situation.
By doing such things you can build up a positive image in front of your children. Do not blame your husband for not supporting you enough to handle your kids. But find new ways by which he can share some responsibility with all his heart.
“A good wife is someone who thinks she has done everything right: raising the kids, being there for the husband, being home, trying to do it all. “- Juliana Margulies
Interviews From Working Professionals
We interviewed few working professionals to know how they balance their personal and professional lives.
1. How To Be A Better Wife? Says Jumana
“There is no such thing as an ideal relationship. Just as fingerprints each and every relationship are different. When you ask me what I do to b a better wife then I would like to tell you just keep your egos at Bay and learn to listen rather than defend.
At times there will be arguments of course because it is not possible for two people to have the same perspective right? There will be clashes but in my case we used to make sure that at the end of day whatever may be the issue we would just sort it out and dump the baggage, sleep peacefully and start a new day without discussing previous issues.
Managing home and work was difficult in beginning as I used to get frustrated a lot due to work pressure which sometimes affected our relationship but with that I learned something that Allah has only given women the power of multitasking, if used smartly can do wonders.
We both are working in our respective fields, and we make sure that we appreciate each other with every rising day.” – Jumana Murtaza
2. How Saumya Manages Work and Marriage Life
“There is nothing like finding the perfect life partner or a perfect relationship. But it’s all about investing in each other, investing in your relationship to make it better than what it was yesterday.
Building the bond of love, trust and care, understanding each other better is never easy, but it’s worth doing when we are committed to each other more than anything else. Sometimes you have to take hard decisions, you have to prioritize. I always wanted a happy and healthy life rather than a very successful one, at the same time, I’m a person who can’t just sit at home doing nothing productive.
That’s how I landed up being a professional language trainer. I work from home, balancing my personal and professional life, by choosing my hours of working.
At last just want to close with a quote that I believe in – “You can’t pour anything out of an empty vessel.” For a happy family/relationship, the first thing you need to do is to keep yourself happy and healthy. Cheers to all wonderful couples who are not just living with each other, but for each other.”
3. See What A Hard-working Woman Has To Say
“After I got married in Pune, I have had a lot of responsibilities, as I had to manage work, my pretty little new home, and my family.
My husband being really supportive has helped me throughout. I have kept a timetable for myself which makes me do things on time like after an early morning breakfast, I would start cooking and once that’s done I would keep an hour for my designing.
Well, a family support is the only thing you need for great day, in which my husband has been my backbone.
I wouldn’t compare myself to other wives to be honest as everybody has their own success stories. And last but not the least SHUKAR (Gratitude) is the gem which holds your backbone throughout your life without which you can never go along. Whatever has happened, whatever will happen, just remember if you stay grateful, everything will work.” – Sakina Bharmal
4. How To Be A Better Wife In The Words of Dr. Priti Sonar
“Don’t be a wife, always be a Best Friend. Whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage it is very important that couples live in a relationship as friends and not just husband and wife. We are Best Friends and that’s the beauty of our relationship.
We two are two different personalities. The best thing is we both respect our differences. Marriage is not just between husband and wife, it’s between families. I was born and brought up in a nuclear family but I gradually learned to be a member of a joint family.
Don’t Pretend – I am what I am. I never pretend to be good just to make someone happy. Expression – I think most marriages end because they are unable to express their feelings. If I am tired I must express that. If I am expecting a long drive I must express that. Your life partner is not a magician to understand what is in your heart.
I practice all this, it’s almost 14 years of relationship of our Friendship.
I never try to do anything extra to make myself a better wife than others, there are two reasons 1. I feel it is foolishness to compete with others. 2. I know I am my best version.” – Dr. Priti Sonar
Improving yourself is never a bad idea. I am glad you chose to learn to be a better wife. If you found our content helpful, let us know in the comments.
Superb article.. U just penned down my thoughts about how to b a best couple. We too follow similar things to b understood better by each other. If I m a best wife , he definitely has to b the best husband and vice versa.
I just loved the way u have written it.