There’s a saying “Don’t let people pull you into their storms. Pull them into your peace.”
Scientifically the word ‘toxicity’ describes poisonous substance that can damage an organism but in conceit terms, it is defined as destroying the mental and emotional state of an individual at large and in complex groups such as family, colleagues, partners, etc.
We come across toxic people almost everywhere irrespective of the place, be it home, work, school or university. This group of toxic people have a tendency to destroy and limit our growth because they fear that we might get ahead of them in no time. In short, they can’t face their own shortcomings. Hence, toxic people block our minds and ability to move forward.
Deliberately or not, toxic people stop others for their own selfish reasons and thus it is very important to handle them with utmost ease, so they don’t vandalize our success, growth, and health.
What are The Signs of Toxic People?
1. Toxic people are self-absorbed – All they care about is themselves and ways to build their own self-esteem. Once they have used you for their own good, they will never come back to you.
2. Toxic people manipulate – These are tricky ones to handle as they come to you as friends. They literally become a part of your life and learn all your secrets. Basically, your strengths and weaknesses, and use them against you in good time.
3. They are disloyal- You can never expect a grain of honesty from them because they are only in your life to degrade you and pull you down. They will never give you honest opinions and cheer on your failures and draw upon your success
4. Take away behavior- More than they give they ask and try to get it from you. Give and take is a golden rule of any relationship but toxic people believe only in taking as long as you don’t see it.
5. They play the victim card- They find ways to feel demeaned and tyrannize so that they can pull the victim card and act innocent and make you feel guilty about it.
How to get Rid of Toxic People?
You can feel your energy and efforts being drained when you are around toxic people. They can harm you with their thought patterns, opinions, and comments. This might even make you feel uncomfortable, sad and bitter. So, you need to come out of this. You can follow my CCD pattern to help yourself from this toxicity. (Control Calm Distance)
1. Control – Toxic people have a tendency to manipulate every word or situation with their undefeatable mind games. But you can win over them by having control over certain things. Control your own actions and speech. Do not give important information. Keep your conversations short and to the point. Always remember when someone steps over your boundary, you don’t move the boundary you move the person.
2. Calm – Generally such people do not take criticism very well. It is necessary to bring a balance between what you say and what you want. You need to acknowledge the problems and instead of avoiding them fight them if it matters. If you believe that a certain matter requires your attention and outbreak and you need to speak up then go ahead otherwise try to stay calm and pacify with the situation. Maintain your tone, don’t rush into battles with these people.
3. Distance – Some people can never be pleased. Toxic people rise above all the levels to drag you down, they drive you crazy with their irrational behavior so it’s in your best interest to maintain distance. Don’t respond to their dramas and emotional manipulation. Detach yourself from their approach. You can’t completely separate yourself, but you can surely distance yourself.
Why is it so Important?
One rule that every successful person will ask you is to avoid toxic people. To succeed in life does not only cover your financial stability but it’s about your mental and emotional stability to survive the worse. One thing we are always taught to be careful about is with whom we associate and who are our friends.
People influence our lives in many ways, some give us good lessons and some take away our happiness. This is not because they were able to do, or they are exceptionally intelligent, it’s because we gave them the authority to do this. Very often it happens that the people who ruin our lives and spreads toxicity are our own people.
Some people help us evolve as a better person and some just wipe off our whole energy and take us backward. But, we all deserve a blissful life, a life of freedom and love where we are always appreciated and motivated to move forward.
Hope I was of some help to you. You can reach out to Rukayya for counselling sessions using the below action button. Have a good day 🙂