Force Marriage is a process of forcing somebody to get married for some silly reasons. Generally, parents force their children to get married earlier to their age or when they are not ready. And to stop parents force marriage, individuals end up hurting themselves or leave the house.
Basically, force marriage is not a great concept to consider implementing on people, but too important to discuss. That is why I have sorted you with ways to stop parents force marriage, so you can choose to do what you want.
However, individuals also look for answer about why do parents force marriage. So, before we jump on to ways, you are free to go through the reasons why parents force marriage.
Here they are –
Why do Parents Force Marriage?
There are certain reasons on why do parents force marriage. These reasons are too silly to even talk about because parents do not understand that their opinions cannot match their children’s opinion, and they cannot expect their children to do what they want because they had different experiences in past life.
The point is parents only think from what they have been through – the pain, struggle, fear and so, they put their children in situations where they forget to listen to their inner voices which makes them who they are. And these children do same with their children because that’s what they learn from their surrounding.
Basically, only 30-40% children actually go against their parents to do what they want to do. However, remaining 70% children listen to their toxic parents out of respect, then blame them for the rest of their lives, and treat their children the same as they were being treated.
Here are some basic reasons for why parents force marriage –
1. Expect money in exchange –
Generally, parents who have gone through a struggling phase in life expect their children to get married in a rich family, so they can take advantage of it as well.
This mostly happens in case of a girl child who is being forced marriage so the parents can expect money in exchange for her.
2. Fear of losing the status in the society –
So many parents force marriage out of fear of losing their high status in the society because of their children falling for somebody who seems to be less of their standards.
Moreover, these parents stop their children to go out, meet friends, and carry forward the relationship they are so much engrossed in, so they can maintain the status they have been struggling all their lives for.
3. Worried of uncertain situations –
Individuals, when reach at their teenage phase, they tend to attract people – be it of opposite sex or same sex. And at this phase they urge for love, care, affection and physical intimacy. So, to not let their children get into romantic relationships, parents force marriage. But, they do not understand that their children have to learn every lesson of their lives on their own, and parents cannot keep on holding their hands for the rest of their lives.
4. Doesn’t understand the value of education –
Most parents think that education for a girl child is a waste of time. They would let them study till their understanding gets better, but wouldn’t allow them to set their career and become who they want to be. Because of their this thinking, their children get depressed and end up destroying their mental health.
Similarly, in few of my counselling sessions I have met with students who faced 2-3 failed relationships because their parents forced marriage, and now they have started thinking that they are not good enough for someone to make a relationship last. And that is why most children give up on their dreams because they fail to stop parents force marriage.
5. Old family beliefs –
Some families strongly believe that children should get married at their certain age. They do not care about what and how their children want their lives to be. And so to maintain the religious and family values, they force marriage and pressurize children to a level where they stop loving themselves.
Ways to Stop Parents Force Marriage
Since individuals have become too stressed and mentally ill, they need to be aware of the ways to stop parents force marriage for they will learn to stand up for themselves and for their kids as well.
1. Force education for yourself –
As parents have become too free to force marriage on their children, you got to force them over your education. This may sound rude at some point but every individual has a right to speak and do what he/she wants to do in life.
Once you will learn to stand up for yourself, your parents will be left with no choice to pressurize you with their decisions.
However, while implementing this, your parents won’t agree with you in seconds. You will need to be strong enough to keep forcing your education to make them understand that it is what is required for a living, and you cannot be at any cost depend on your spouse for the rest of your lives as life can take a turn at any point and you need to be alert of it beforehand.
2. Politely make them understand your opinions –
Individuals actually fight with their parents for their rights. Due to which they get into situations where they hurt their parents. And these situation gets worst where they without any cost have to listen to their parents and their decisions. So, to let your parents understand you, you need to talk to them politely and make them understand that everyone’s experiences cannot be same, and it is not possible to manage in this generation with old beliefs.
3. Consult a close family member to convince parents –
Basically, parents will listen to the whole society, but not you, regarding your life decisions. And that is sometimes out of concern also, but gets complicated in the end.
You can reach out to a close family member and talk to them about your feelings, wants and what do you want to do or who do you want to get married to. They might help you convince your parents regarding this.
4. Stand up for whom you like –
Parents usually don’t support relationships without their choice, so they force marriage. And children out of respect give up on the person they want to get married to which give parents a feeling of being a right decision maker.
5. Take responsibility of your life –
You have to start controlling your life on your own for if something goes wrong, you will not have somebody to blame to, rather you will learn a lesson that will grow you better.
Most people blame their parents in later life because of the wrong decisions taken by them. If they had taken the responsibility of their life, they wouldn’t be in pain today. So, to avoid facing situations where you have to regret in your later life, start standing up for yourself and your dreams.